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Objectives For Relationships


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  • Objectives For Relationships

    As a frequent reader of r/relationships and other forums of like, I've noticed a pattern. Problems in relationships usually originate in one of these:

    An issue which lacks communication (something where the solution is obviously to talk about it)
    Incompatible attachment (as in, one is more clingy)
    Incompatible libido
    There is one exception I'm familiar with (I'm positive I missed more, but this is the only one I'm familiar with), and that is emotional baggage, the stuff that people are stuck with after being raped or molested or the like. That I didn't list because it's more a wound in one person rather than between two people.

    In my mind, a relationship is ideal when libido is compatible, and attachment is compatible. If libido is mismatched, the partner of lower sex drive will feel a varying array of negative emotions, depending on the extremity of the mismatch. They might feel pressured, uncomfortable, or even taken advantage of, and in equal magnitude, the partner of higher libido will feel the hit to their self confidence and a burden of sexual frustration. When attachment is mismatched, the partner who is more attached (or the clingy one) will feel insecure and unwelcome, while the partner with weaker attachment will feel annoyed, or resentful. These characteristics are beyond our control (my claim), and we cannot change them. If the issue surfaces once, it will continue to resurface.

    These are what establish compatibility. Beyond that is actually the content of a relationship. I guess that varies, beyond the objectives. IMO that includes both partners feeling loved, respected and appreciated. Loved for obvious reasons, respect for mental and emotional health, and appreciation for fruit and security.